Expectations: Real and Simple
Unmet expectations result in disappointment. This applies to every area of life. Not that you should ever “lower” your expectations… but it’s important that your expectations are realistic. Let’s try to simplify them to what really matters.
“Instead… I set my expectations for one thing: to have fun and enjoy the experience through her eyes.”
I’ll never forget the first day of my daughter’s first trip to Disney. This was post-COVID and a lot of things had changed from the last time we went… (Not to mention the trip itself was delayed by over a year due to COVID). We didn’t get to do near the amount of things I had expected to do and at the end of the day I was SO disappointed, upset really. And here I am holding this perspective that it was a “bad day” (can one ever really have a BAD day at Disney???)… but then I asked her about her day and she said it was her BEST day ever and you can see the magic in her eyes. Wow. That moment reframed my perspective on expectations for the rest of our trip… and really my life. The next day, instead of expecting to do “all the things” I set my expectations for one thing: to have fun and enjoy the experience through her eyes.
How does this apply to breastfeeding?
Unrealistic expectations…
lead to let down and disappointment
It’s not always sunshine and rainbows. I think sometimes we paint this picture of breastfeeding as a mother and baby nursing in a swing with flowers in our hair…. IRL, it might look like a baby who latched beautifully in the hospital and things start out great… then night 3 when you get home from the hospital, everything changes.
Maybe your delivery didn’t go as you expected and you are already discouraged from that…
Things shift from that honeymoon recovery phase and you start to realize you are home with your partner and now you’re responsible for a-whole-other person and you haven’t slept more than 3 hours in days (or possibly already weeks at this point thanks to late pregnancy) and probably won’t for the foreseeable future.
Your baby starts cluster feeding to help bring your milk in and wants to party all night long [this is physiologically normally by the way and I will explain why another day!].
Your body is trying to heal from delivery and your milk begins to shift… your breasts become full and tender and everything hurts.
Due to engorgement baby starts to have a hard time latching… and the list goes on.
It gets messy… just like your bun.
I am not painting this picture to cause any fear and no, this is not the case for every family. But I think it is so much easier to go into something EXPECTING that it might be a little hard and prepare for that hard, than to expect something be easy and not prepare, yet it actually turns out to be really, really hard.
This is why I think that many mothers stop breastfeeding prematurely. If you have been educated on what is normal and have tools for troubleshooting in your toolkit, you can shift your expectations from PERFECT to POSITIVE.
It will completely change your experience.
Today you have a choice. Choose to simplify your expectations, keep them realistic and be successful.
My ultimate prayer is that you may find the peace and joy that is found in surrendering your plans and expectations to Jesus Christ, our Lord and giver of life.
I hope to have the honor and opportunity to encourage and support you along the way.
-With Gratitude & Grace,
